Still Not A Man-crush

09.07.2011

14 years ago I first met Jason. I talk about Jason off and on, but I had no idea I've known the man for that long.

The first time I met Jason was at the Ground Zero: In Your House PPV in Louisville. Jason had comped me a ticket, and I had no idea who he really was - I had heard about him through Gina's family, but I had never met the man. I still remember the drive to Louisville (a drive I was used to since my job at the time had a group of us going to Louisville monthly), not really knowing what to expect. It was my first visit to the Will-Call window. I'm a pro a Will-Call these days.

I made my way to Will-Call, showed my ID, picked up my ticket and proceeded to wait for the gates to open. Once the gates opened, I made it my goal to track down and meet Jason so I could thank him for the ticket. Inside the arena I found a couple of guys wearing WWF Crew T-Shirts and asked if they knew Jason Robinson. After I got a "yeah" back, I asked if they knew where I could find him, which they quickly wanted to know why. I explained that he had gotten me a ticket and I wanted to thank him, so they pointed me to where he was set up - way up near the roof, maybe 10 rows from the top. So I trekked up to the top and asked another group of guys if Jason was around. Somebody grabbed his attention and he came over and I introduced myself and thanked him. We had a nice little conversation (about what, I don't remember) before he got busy again, and I made my way to my seat which was a couple of sections over and 2 rows from the ceiling. This marked:

• The only time I've seen Jason that I didn't give him a huge bear hug
• The worse seats I've ever had (not that I really care, then or now)

I remember very little about the actual show. I mostly remember the first match between Goldust and Brian Pillman, mainly because the little kid behind me (right up next to the ceiling) was cheering vehemently for Goldust, and when Goldust lost there was a crying "Nooooooooooo" behind me. In retrospect, I think I remember that match because Pillman would be found dead less than a month later right before the next PPV.

I'm not sure how many wrestling events Jason's gotten me into. I try not to take him for granted, as I've enjoyed them all. Thanks to him, I got to live a 27-year-old dream and went to Wrestlemania this year. Matt and I got to go backstage at Nashville, where I moved a diva and Matt had his close encounter with John Cena.

Over the past year I've gotten to where I bother stay in better contact with Jason, usually by texting him on Monday nights when he's trying to work. I can tell him jokes about wrestlers or gripe about the lack of Teddy's TV time thanks to me being a huge wrestling dork and knowing what it is Jason actually does for a living. On the rare occasion, I get to talk some non-wrestling topics with him, like motorcycles. But that's a rare occasion just because he's so blasted busy.

But I don't think he'd be happy if he wasn't busy. And I've got plenty of txt minutes to use up. Probably another 14 years worth.

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The Center of my Wellness

08.31.2011

After putting it off for years, I've finally started exercising again. Sure, I rode the bicycle intermittently last year for which it became too damn hot to ride in recent months. Before that I was training in the martial arts, but that was 5 years ago. I've mentioned before that my weight has shot up to the above 400 range (again) since Christmas, and since Christmas it's fluctuated up and down within a 15 pound range dependent on how I felt/illness/tidal shift.

I've been meaning to go talk to the people at the East Limestone Wellness Center for months. The East Limestone branch is less than 2 miles from my house - convenient to say the least. My main goal was to make sure they had a treadmill that could hold me. You would be surprised that treadmills have weight limits, but when you have to pay attention to that kind of thing you make sure to ask.
For those of you curious, when you're on a treadmill which you exceed the weight for, it doesn't crumble and fall apart. The belt tends to stick under the extra weight, which means that intermittently it will stall/slow down, so you feel like you're tripping while walking on the treadmill. I'm not sure how much better that is than the thing crumbling. Crumbling would be more graceful.

I went Friday and talked to the fine folks at the Wellness Center. I would have to go to the main Athens office to sign paper work and give them money, which I quickly did before I could change my mind. The Wellness Center requires you to have a fitness evaluation before you begin an exercise program (which they give you after evaluating your fitness), and I was fine with this since every exercise program I've been on has been something I've made up. My evaluation, taken on Monday, was not the treadmill-stress test I was afraid of, but a questionnaire which I answered honestly. Even when he asked my weight instead of digging out some industrial scales (which, clothes in shorts, shirt, and shoes on the scale at home that morning came out to freaking 417). That was all for Monday, and Tuesday I would come back for my exercise plan.

Zac, the tech holding my hand through all of this, told me Tuesday that he had made me an exercise plan that focused on cardio. I knew that would be best for me, having never done cardio. I'm a firm believer that lack of cardio + the slowest metabolism in the world = freaking 417. Luckily, Zac is realistic and doesn't expect me to be running around... well, anything. One of the reasons I picked the Wellness Center instead of a gym is that there are a lot of feeble old people there that get around worse than I do. I shan't be the bottom of the fitness barrel there!

Zac bestowed unto me my exercise program, which consisted of:

• Treadmill: 15 minutes; 2% grade, 2.5mph
• Recumbent Bike: 15 minutes; level 2 (whatever level 2 is - it goes up to 15)
• Rowing Machine: 10 minutes
• Sit ups: 3 sets of 15, 30 sec per set (or long torso extensions, whatever they call them, they're sit ups)
• Knee to chest: 3 sets of 15, 30 sec per set (for me it's knee to waist)
• Back Extension/Range of Motion: 3 sets of 15, 70lbs, 30 sec per set.

A 45 minute workout. I thought I might be able to do it. This is how it went.

Treadmill: I actually made it the whole 15 minutes. I've never increased the grade on previous treadmills, and 2% is close enough to 0% that I didn't really notice.
Recumbent Bike: At 5 minutes the balls of my feet were hurting, which meant I was pushing too hard on the pedals. The pedal had little straps, so the balls of my feet were securely fastened to the pedals. I tried not to push so hard, and around 12 minutes got my second wind and breezed through the 15 minutes.
ARowing Machine: I knew I was in trouble when I said "Oh god I'm tired and my thighs got nothing". I knew I was in more trouble when I said this 3½ minutes into the exercise. I made it to 5 minutes, which Zac assured me was good, as this was all to give me a baseline for what I should actually do.
For the exercises with sets, Zac just had me do 1 set of each, so the sit ups and knee-ups weren't a big deal. He focused on getting the machine settings for the seat, base, and back pad right more than me doing the exercise. I did a set with 70lbs, then I went ahead and did 3 sets with 90lbs. To be honest, I wasn't feeling much resistance, so I maxed out the weight stack at 150lbs and did a set. I started to feel it around the 12th rep :)

After my first successful exercise, I came home and had a salad (lettuce, cheese, a smattering of ranch, and some turkey pepperoni). I topped it off with my blood pressure medicine and 3 Aleve (learned this one from the boss whilst karate-ing). I felt good. Better than I had in a while.

So good, that after going to the chiropractor today I decided to try another workout instead of giving myself a recovery day. I wasn't that sore from the previous day, so I thought I would give it a shot. My shot went like:

• Treadmill: 15 minutes, same settings as yesterday.
• Recumbent Bike: 7½ minutes. Feet started hurting again, but my thighs weren't giving up any power.
• Rowing Machine: skipped, I knew my thighs couldn't take it.
• Sit ups & knee-ups: 3 sets of 15 each. After the first 2, the rest of the sets were hard to get through. I was feeling a burn.
• Back Machine: 3 sets at 90lbs. I could tell I was using my back more instead of pushing back with my legs, due in no small part to my sit up/knee-up burn.

So I learned that for now I need a recuperation day. Thursday I shall recuperate. I'm not going to do a whole lot tonight, either.

Permalink diet

Digging Up Old Emails - The Newks

08.24.2011

Since I'm due a blog update, here's one I promised various crew at my local The Newks that I would post. Sure, it's an email that's over a year old, but I still think it's funny. For the non Newks workers out there reading this, I used to send emails to the managers as if I was writing feedback to the store/franchise owner. Common themes of my email included but were not limited to:

• I take my salad (the Ultimate Salad) without tomatoes, and I become agitated if any are found.
• I enjoy Coke Zero with my tomatoless salad.
• Milner is gay. Flaming.
• Amy is hot. (tangentially, she's had a baby since I originally wrote this)
• The cashiers rotate every 3 months, in sync with school quarters/semester. They're usually easy on the eyes.
• I eat there regularly enough I'm like Norm from Cheers.

Depending on my mood, my emails would generally take the tone of LH Puttgrass from Bloom County with a dash of The Rock, where my opinion on all things would be overly important. And worded oddly.

From August 17, 2010

Dear Mr. Newks,

It's been a while since our last correspondence, and for that I apologize with heartfelt apologeticness, but to be honest there hasn't been a lot to correspond about. It was with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the Newks Summer 2010 Hoochie Skank Class as it was an exceptional year for them. Perky, blond, doe eyed innocence. But I digress.

Today when visiting my local The Newks I was greeted by a pleasant sight. No, not the "leave your damn umbrella by the door" sign, although technically that was what I was greeted by. And to be honest the sign put me in a bit of fowl mood. Pissed me off a little. Who are you to be telling me where to put my umbrella? I'll tell YOU where to put my umbrella, that's what I do. As much money as I pass into this place I should be able to put my umbrella any damn where I want to, by jiminy. Although I didn't bring in an umbrella, as it wasn't raining , nor even moist outside, I didn't have an umbrella to cart around looking for an appropriate spot, but I think I'll bring one next time to shove up Milner's candy-ass to make sure he knows I can put my umbrella wherever I want. What's that saying about the customer being right? I believe it's something along the lines of "The customer can shove their umbrella up Milner's ass and he'll like it, with a smile on his face, and ask if you would like a refill for your refreshing beverage."

Once I made it pass the aforementioned sign, I saw a sight for sore eyes. No, it wasn't the Newks Fall 2010 Hoochie Skank Line-up (makes me miss Summer even more) it was the newly printed table numbers. Finally, after nigh on a year of being forced to use the rinky-dink numbers where I didn't know if my table was "61" or "19", there is finally a number card worthy of the greatness of the Newks and the gospel of which I spread! I don't know much more about the new number, as my salad reached my table at roughly the same time I did, but they look to be chock full of information. Unique information, as various numbers did not look cookie-cutter stamped with the same blithering that any monkey could spew time after time.

After enjoying my salad which had no gawdamned tomatoes on it, I went to congratulate the management on their tireless work evidenced by the new number cards I have been wanting for over a year. Then I saw New Guy in a Yellow Shirt. I'm sure he has a human name, but I will call him New Guy. I don't like New Guy. He's new. I don't want to train a New Manager. It's hard enough training New Hoochie Skanks, and I have to do that every 3 months. I won't even mention that I wasn't consulted about New Guy, or even that a New Guy position was opening up. I walk in, BAM - New Guy is working. I ask you this Mr Newks, how would you feel if you walked into your spacious luxury home on the Newks Estate and BAM - some New Guy is fornicating with your wife. That's how I felt. Betrayed. And maybe a little aroused. But mostly betrayed. And then I was a little thirsty, so I refilled my beverage. After that, back to betrayed.

I should probably keep an open mind. Maybe you have to hire a New Guy to bring in the New Numbers. But the New Numbers are in place, maybe it's time to get rid fo the New Guy? Or maybe New Guy is hired as Milner's replacement! That would give Milner time to take his annual "This is not a gay cruise" Cruise. That would be acceptable. Maybe New Guy isn't too bad after all.

So, to summarize:
* It's damnable hot, how about fixing the A/C in the elevated dining area?
* I'm moving to tea, so you can stop carrying the Coke Zero
* With Adam's help, I've started adding Egg & Feta Cheese to the Salad Ultimate. Time to think up a catchy name and add it to the menu.
* There's something about Amy, but I can't seem to remember it right now...

Until our next correspondence,
R. Spears
Eater of Salad
Spreader of the Gospel of The Newks.

Permalink random

Mozzarella Sticks

08.14.2011

Yesterday Gina and I were off to the Decatur Lowes in search of some closet organization furniture. I live for this kind of stuff (who likes to get organized better than me?) so I was more than happy to ferry Gina to Lowes. We left around 11:30, too early for lunch and too late for breakfast (for Gina, I had already had breakfast since it's illegal for me to skip a meal) so we stopped by the Athens Sonic for a couple of drinks. I went to the drive thru and ordered Gina a large Coke and myself a Rt 44 Coke Zero. Road trip drinks! The girl on the other side of the mic asked if we would like some mozzarella sticks to go with our order. Gina punched me in the arm and said "say yes". I looked at her and she said "really, it'll make her day". I looked back at the mic and said "Yyyyes, I would." And I said it with a couple of extra Y's, just like that.

There was a hesitant pause and she asked "Ok, would you like anything else?" I looked at Gina, who wasn't punching me, and said "No, that'll be it." As we approached the window you could see people scurrying around. Evidently our cheese stick order was causing a commotion. When we got to the window the girl that was previously behind the mic was smiling and giggling and told us that nobody had ever said yes before. Gina was also all smiles, as she was sure this just made their day.

Eventually we got our mozzarella sticks. We got lots of extra smiles with them, too.

Permalink random

To The Hobby!

08.05.2011

*

Severe thunderstorms swept through Wednesday night, killing the power until about 10:00 the next morning. Cable and internet were out until noon on Friday. This meant it was time for some hobbying!

I've been going to The Deep and getting some miniatures-painting tips from Scott, one of the guys that works there. Scott's a really good painter, while I've never been a really good painter. I've barely been an adequate painter when it comes to miniatures. I used to think I was above average, but then I sat down with Jer once to paint some miniatures (I'm pretty sure they were Warhammer 40K) and he started drybrushing the weapons. I'd never seen drybrushing before, and it made a world of difference.

I haven't painted anything in a couple of years, but I've been having that urge of late. I've stocked up on fresh paint, brushes, and other little knick knacks and doo dads you need. Once the power came back on it seemed like a good time to break out a figure to practice on. I tried to remember Scott's advice - go slow, use the paint sparingly, go slow. I went slow. I should have gone slower. I would paint, let the paint dry, and then paint some more. I drybrushed. I used washes. I somehow had no black paint. I've got 6 shades of green, but no black. Finally I found some acrylic black, but it actually seems to move around with the brush differently.

Now I've gotten my first figure in a decade done. It could be better, but it could be worse. I need to practice priming better. That's what I'm going to start out with on the next one. Then we'll see how it goes.
Base coats, flesh, uniform, drybrushed. Just added a brown-ish wash which is still wet.


Everything finally dried. I went ahead and played around with flocking the base.

*The pic up top has my myriad collection of paints and painting tools, and the Rotary Mat cutting mat. The mat was originally Mom's and still has the sticker from the TG&Y in Florence, which places its purchase between the 2nd and 6th grades. It's at least a 30-year old cutting mat... that just amazes me.

Permalink boardgames gaming miniatures hobbies