Weekend Update

08.08.2005

This weekend was chock full of games. Friday Jer and I played another exciting round of Star Wars Miniatures, in which he once again managed to pull off a victory. I don't know how he keeps doing that, but he does. Ticks me off to no end.

After trouncing me, Jer started playing the Lego Star Wars X-Box game. I cheered him on as he played his way through Episode 1. The best part was renaming the characters, as the Lego version of Padme looks a lot like Captain Janeway, and Captain Typho, the first one in the game ot have a blaster, was quickly dubbed Captin Blasto!

The rest of my weekend was taken up with finishing God of War. I can't remember the last time I actually finished a non-wrestling game, so it was a cause for celebration! Since it was late Saturday night when I finished, the celebration turned out to be going to bed, but that's to be expected once you get elderly like I am.

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Game Time

08.01.2005

I've been trying to catch up on some on my video game playing of late. I've been in a rut of driving and wrestling games, and I finally came across a couple of games to help get me out of said rut.

Lego Star Wars lets you play through Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, and 3 with everything made of Legos. An odd concept, but fun to watch destroyed items bounce around into their component Lego parts. I still like making Legos, so this appealed to the kid in me. The game is fairly simple, I think targeted toward the pre-teen game player. The puzzles and combat are easy to get a grip on, so the game is quick to pick up and play for an hour or two. Exactly what I was looking for. And yes, you can (eventually) kill Jar-Jar.

God of War for the PS2 is my first venture into the hack-n-slash niche. It may not even be a real hack-n-slash, but it counts for me. Move toward enemy, press button repeatedly. There's enough bad guys, animations, violence, and nudity to make this one fun for a while. My only drawback is there isn't an invulnerability/god mode, so I tend to die a lot. But it is a fun game. I think I've managed to get about a quarter of the way through after playing for a couple of hours. It's addictive, though; very hard to put the controller down after playing for a while. You just want to see what's around the next corner...

I tried to keep an open mind for Wrestlemania 21 on the Xbox. I waited until I was ready to try a new wrestling game. I waited and bought it used, saving about $10. I read lots of reviews putting it down so that all my expectations would be lowered. But it sucks. It sucks because the code, deep inside the game sucks. Why does it suck?

• The game actually locks up after some matches.
• When more than 2 wrestlers are present in a match, characters tend to "jump" around the ring randomly. Oh, they still hit and punch and suplex, but the bodies aren't connected any more.
• There's a lag with the spinning Wrestlemania logo loading screen. I catch about every 10th frame of the rotating logo until it's loaded all the way into memory, at which point the level is about ready to play.
• It may just be my "low level" wrestler, but all the animations run slow.
• After being knocked down, pressing the controller to make the wrestler get up makes him roll around. A lot.
• The settings for camera angles and announcer volume are reset to the default for every match.

There are some good points to the game. The story mode seems interesting (although so far it's a throw back to the old fighting games where you have to win every match). The player models are extremely well done.

.....

Ok, there's a lot more against this game than for it. I'm gonna go back to God Of War and hack-n-slash everything. Maybe the Wrestlemania 21 programmers, if I can find them.

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For A Guy My Size

07.26.2005

Today was the first karate class since last week's belt test, and I managed to get a compliment from the test. (Sensei) Leonard told me that the other black belts on the panel were impressed by me on Thursday night, especially because I moved so well for a guy my size.

I know it's a compliment, but it's hard to take it as such and not turn it into a back-handed compliment. 90% of the time when we're punching and kicking and causing all sorts of potential martial arts mayhem in class, I tend to forget that I'm twice the weight of the next biggest person in class (said person being Jer). It only really pops up when some moves calls for a bearhug or something similar since no one in class can get their arms all the way around me. Then it's a little funny, bacause how can you fake being in a bearhug?

I carry my weight all over. I'm 380 lbs, but I don't have 100 lbs worth of gut hanging over my belt. I guess I'm lucky in that regard, because that allows me to fall, flip, and throw myself around like I'm one of the little guys in class. I just try not to fall on top of someone. At least not directly.

But now I know I move well for a guy my size. Most of the time people think I'm only around 300 lbs, so I guess I move really well for a guy my size. I'm still trying to concentrate more on technique during class that just using brute strength, but it's a little bit of a challenge sometimes - there's a new throw we were learning today that, due to where your body ends up right before the throw, it's hard not to let force take over. I mean, my arm wants to throw you down instead of letting my leg have all the fun. But that's part of learning karate. Eventually, in some distant, mythical land, I'll come across my equal in mass and will have to rely not on my superior muscle power, but instead on my cunning, balance, and leverage to emerge victorious.

Ooh, that sounds good. I gotta go write that down...

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Into The Orange

07.22.2005

Last night was the make up belt test in karate school. A month ago, Jer had advanced to the much ballyhooed Orange Belt during the regular belt test (which I had managed to miss thanks to my bowling induced knee injury), and last night it was my turn to catch up with him. I also managed ot learn something last night - Jer and I make each other look good.

I think it's because we've each so long, plus our day to day practicing with each other during class, but when we're practicing throws or holds, we just seem to work well with each other. We've gotten to the point that we know we're not going to hurt the other, accidentally or not - torn uniforms not withstanding. I mention this because during the belt test I was paired with someone else besides my normal partner of Jer. I was a little more hesitant in the moves, each time thinking "is he going to fall right? is he going to throw me right?" I know my moves suffered because of it. In fact, I pretty much threw myself during one fall (ceiling spin) just to make sure he was going to get me over ok.

I also had a chance to wrestle during the belt test. Wrestle normal sized people, not the sub-200 lb skinny boys I see in class from day to day. No longer was I able to easily overpower my 2 opponents. This caught me off guard, and I was merely able to hold on for a draw twice. Then Doug (my nemesis!) came along and managed to get me on my back. Although I was able to counter his attempts to apply a choke hold on me, I was stuck on my back and could never counter. This led to sparring. My first attempt to actually spar instead of just practicing throwing a punch and blocking. Like Jer on his belt test, Doug (my nemesis!) was my sparring opponent. Like with Jer, Doug (my ....) had to crank it down a handful of notches to let me punch back. After the 30 minutes of sparring, which I think was 2 minutes of real time, the round was over and I was still mobile. A partial surprise not because Doug (my nemesis!) was killing me with his chop socky, but 2 minutes of moving - blocking - punching - kicking - not blowing my mouthpiece out of my mouth had me running on empty.

But now the test is over. I've advanced and am once again on equal terms with Orange Belt Jer. Now if my limbs will just cooperate for the next couple of months I can take the next belt test at the regular time and Jer and I can make each other shine.

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Tuesday Tussle

07.19.2005

Today Jer and I must spar in karate class. It will be my first time to spar, while it marks Jer's third or fourth time, depending on how you count (classes or opponents). I'm not really looking forward to it, because I'll be coached to move around, punch, kick, jab, and move around some more.

Move around is not high on the priority list of 380 lbs, out of shape sparrers. My general approach to combat is "stand there until they get close enough to whack, then whack into submission." Along with 30 years of subconcious pro wrestling in my brain's background, it's served me well. But I'm going to have to move around and try not to tire myself out too bad and let Jer get the upper hand. He probably will, though, now that he has more experience.

This is the perfect opportunity for me to cut a wrestling style promo. So, picture if you will, me in my best Randy "Macho Man" Savage voice for the following:

It's time for the clash of the titans, yeah. The Macho Russ and the Jerster. The unmovable object against the irresistable force, yeah! Time and time again, yeah, the people have wondered in only the way that people have wondered for millenia about what would happen, dig it, when you put two volitile chemicals like us together, yeah. The Macho Russ is going to tell you. It's combustion, baby, yeah! And today at the Dojo Dome we're going to combust. So bring what you got Jerster. Bring your pads, bring your fists, bring your feets, bring your clan, yeah, because that's what it's gonna take to bring the Macho Russ down! Dig it!

(Macho Russ spins and turns away, flamboyant as ever)

I need to become a wrestling writer, don't I?

---

Post Tussle Update
We ended up just going over some of teh basics of how to punch and block while wearing the pads today, so the immovable force and irresistable object are still where they started out. No blood. No bruises. No notifying the next of kin.

But there's always next week.

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